in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
