I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
