So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
