I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
