Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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