I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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