my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
