I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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