Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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