i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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