I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize