I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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