I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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