His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
