please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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