It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
