Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
