Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
