Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
