I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
