he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize