I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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