i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
