apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize