I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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