sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
