Betty ford says i'm here all night
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
