I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
