i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
