Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
