we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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