things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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