you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
