I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
