Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
