Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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