is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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