how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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