Don't you send me to vm
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
