That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
