"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
