im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
