nut hugger
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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