smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
that's an acceptable place to lick
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
