My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
