Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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