the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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