5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
