i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
