his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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