She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
