Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
