Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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