You're a womanizer and a bitch.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
