I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
