Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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