if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Randomize
