ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
