I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
