I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
