Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i love accidental penises.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
