The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
